Finding My Sweet Heart

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 17:48:45 -0700

A beautiful shift occurred recently for me in the area of Love.
I have long been aware of a special place in my psyche, a tender space reserved for my sweet heart. When I am in relationship, my partner fills this space, and I feel wonderful. Her Divine Feminine balances my Divine Masculine and creates feelings of comfort and completeness. I associate these feelings with Love and Divine Partnership. Having this connection seems an integral part of my spiritual evolution and search for greater happiness.
Over the years, I have spent many hours, days, weeks, and even months seeking to fill "my sweet heart" space so I can experience these blissful feelings. Many times, the desire to fill this space was fueled by a strong sense of longing - the empty feeling that invariable crept in when I was not in relationship. Other times, I wanted to fill this space to relieve feelings of pain or loss from a recent separation. Even in emotionally peaceful times, the pull to fill this space has been strong.
My search to find my sweet heart has taken many forms. I have taken workshops, read books, created elaborate lists, visualized my desired partner, and called upon my guides and Spirit for assistance. These techniques worked well to bring new relationships into my life, yet when each relationship ended, I was left with the uncomfortable feeling of longing and being incomplete.
Within the past months, the search for my sweet heart has unexpectedly turned inward. Rather than searching for the Divine Feminine in another, I sought for and nurtured it inside myself. I started treating myself in the loving way that I would treat a beloved partner and in the way I would like my loving partner to treat me. This wasn't a conscious decision, but something which simply happened naturally.
One evening as I was tired and headed for bed. I noticed my dinner dishes still dirty in the kitchen sink. In my fatigued state, I thought "I'll clean those in the morning." This thought was answered immediately with the question "Would I want my sweet heart to start her day with finding my dirty dishes?" I paused and thought "Of course not!" My thought was answered with another question, "Then why would I want my day to start that way?" I smiled, quickly washed the dishes, and headed to bed with a sense of amusement and happiness. I could see myself waking in the morning, walking through the kitchen feeling peaceful and relaxed, not even remembering that I'd done this little act of kindness for myself. I felt great joy within, the joy of knowing I was taking care of myself in this way.
Similar thoughts, actions, and feelings began popping up all around me. Previously mundane daily events have became tiny acts of Self Love. I brush my teeth because I love myself, not because I fear tooth decay or feel obligated to take care of myself. I turn on my bedroom salt lamp because I love myself and feel joy in knowing that I will breath cleaner air when I return. I do my laundry because I love myself and look forward to the happiness of choosing my favorite shirts from the closet. Suddenly, there seemed to be an endless supply of opportunities to love myself.
The joy I have felt with the increased giving and receiving of Love has been incredible. And with it, the strong feelings of longing for a relationship have faded and disappeared. As I love myself more fully, my own Divine Feminine balances my Divine Masculine, and I feel complete. I feel happy and peaceful inside. I look forward to loving relationship, yet I am content with the natural flow that Spirit brings me.
Only in retrospect did I realize that I filled that special place for "my sweet heart" with exactly that - the sweetness of my own heart - literally "my sweet heart".

Tasting Life Fully

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 13:45:59 -0700

Today I was eating a fig newton and allowing myself to receive ALL that it offered.
I could see and feel the grain blowing gently in the wind.
I could feel the Sun and Water and Earth giving Love to the grain.
I could also feel the fig tree lovingly giving birth to its young fruit, feel the fruit growing and ripening, filling with Love and Light, blossoming in the Sun.
I could feel all this amazing energy radiating from the fig newton into my mouth and into my cells. I opened fully to receive this Blessing, Nourishment, and Love.
How sweet! And it taste great too. :)

Reentering the Flow

Sat, 4 Aug 2007 12:41:19 -0700

Oftentimes I see people (myself included) getting caught up in the games of competition and comparison. We check each other out, inspecting this aspect or that behavior, comparing people with each other and with ourselves. Are we thinner, stronger, smarter, funnier, or happier? Is that other person better spoken, more attractive, or more successful? There seems to be no end to the ways in which we compare ourselves to others.
At times, we use comparison to search for our own uniqueness, looking for what makes us special and different than others. We seek to set ourselves apart, and we do exactly that. When we put ourselves above or below others, we create distance between each other. We establish separation through our competitive judgments.
Other times, we compare for the purpose of making decisions, judging if another will fit the roles we wish them to play. We analyze past behaviors and present interactions and create expectations about the future. We make decisions based on these judgments then expect those we've judged to live up to our expectations. Again we create separation, by seeing those around us as who we've judged them to be rather than who they are. The longer we hold these expectations, the further we get from each other. We each grow and change, yet our judgments stubbornly stay the same.
What fascinates me about this process is how quickly we get stuck in it - rooted in our false perceptions and out-dated expectations as the world happily passes us by. We expend our energy looking for evidence that our judgments are correct rather than noticing the beautiful change in others around us. In this manner, we often miss exactly what we are looking for, because we cannot see the world in present time. We have become stuck in our own world of judgments.
It's easy to know when we're in this position. We feel stuck and frustrated. Our mind's chatter repeats our judgments and expectations and the conclusions we've drawn from them. With all this noise, there is little room for new perception in our awareness. Life has moved on without us, and we're left living in the small box of separation we've created.
Fortunately, we can free ourselves as quickly as we've become stuck. We simply need to let go of the idea that we are right - that we know what is going to happen, that we understand others, and that we've made valid comparisons and judgments. This creates room for new perception and allows us to reenter to flow. The more deeply we let go, the more quickly we move from our stuck position.
We can use this new perception to reevaluate the world in a deeper and more satisfying way. We can look beyond the physical, beyond each other's protective masks, and begin to see ourselves as the Spirits we truly are. We can remember that the roles we play are simply roles, not the true essence of ourselves. And we can give ourselves permission to experience the world anew, free from our former expectations.
As we let go and reenter the flow of life, we free ourselves from the separation we've created. If we allow ourselves to look deeply, we can see the beauty all around us - in our uniqueness and in our interactions with others. We no longer need to compare or judge or even to understand the world around us. We can relax, observe the beauty of ourselves and others, and simply enjoy the journey.

The Healing Gift of Being Psychic

Sun, 1 Jul 2007 09:02:33 -0700

The most loving thing we can do for another is to see them as the Spirit that they are. The validation that comes from being seen in this manner is more empowering and healing than any physical validation or remedy we can offer. This simple act of seeing another as a Spirit is what I call "psychic reading".
When I read, I tune in to the subtle energies that are beneath the body and the personality, and I see the spiritual aspects which are at play. Communicating what I see from this perspective reminds the person that they are more than their body and more than the concerns and dramas that so easily draw their attention. They are a beautiful Spiritual Being with vast amounts of experience and insight to draw upon. They are fully capable of creating peace and harmony in their life by simply aligning with their true self.
Seeing people from this perspective is healing even when no words are exchanged. Just noticing and admiring someone as a spirit provides an opportunity for them to experience their spiritual nature as well - to see or feel themselves more clearly because they have been seen. To me, this is the true essence of healing.
My interest in psychic reading began in the early 90's as I awakened to the idea that the world was more than I could see, hear, taste, touch and smell. I was having spontaneous psychic experiences and was reading many new age books in a frenzied search to understand and develop my extra-sensory abilities.
When I stumbled upon Psychic Horizons Center in 1996, I finally found what I was looking for - an organized method of teaching psychic abilities and an environment which supported and validated my spiritual awakening. My spiritual growth accelerated as I began experiencing my spirituality rather than reading about the experiences of others.
Today, I still use and teach the tools I learned at Psychic Horizons Center which follows the the tradition of the Berkeley Psychic Institute , founded in 1972 by late psychic and medium Lewis Bostwick. The concepts are easy to learn, time-tested, and widely applicable.
The basic premise is that we each have natural abilities to sense and change energy, even though few of us learn to use them consciously. The BPI teaching provides a simple framework for tapping into these natural abilities. Techniques are introduced for grounding and replenishing the body, establishing healthy boundaries, reading energy, and working with chakras and the aura.
While I've found these tools invaluable for helping me be grounded and centered, the greatest gift I received came from learning to psychically monitor and maintain my own spiritual growth. In the BPI training, this is referred to as "blowing a picture".
The term "picture" is used to describe a belief which is held in ones energy body. Our pictures are the building blocks of our reality and the filter through which we view and experience the world. "Blowing a picture" refers to releasing this stored energy and allowing ourselves to see and experience the world without this filter.
The power of this concept is that it gets in deep, past our social programming, past our psychology, and past our emotional wounds and blocks. The idea is to look as neutrally as possible at the effects of these forces upon us rather than looking at the forces themselves. We look directly at the stored energies (pictures) which came from these experiences. These stored energies now shape our belief system and our experience of the world. When these pictures are brought to our conscious awareness and we choose to release them, this changes the filter through which we view the world as well as the energetic program we create our world with.
The beauty of the system is that is works without us needing to figure anything out. We don't need to understand the physics behind the process or even the deep nature or origins of the energies we are releasing. When used most effectively, the analyzing mind is turned off, and we are guided by the simple desire to be clear, to remove the unconscious pictures which shape our experiences, and to tap into the true stream of life which is underneath.
For myself personally and for many others I've seen use this system, I've watched a steady reduction in judgments, frustration, and misperceptions. These are replaced by a corresponding increase in joy, happiness, and abundance which arises naturally from a less cluttered version of reality.
The ability to take a step back from my beliefs has also led to a growing sense of confidence and security and a deep knowingness that all is well, that underneath my human-formed pictures, life truly is beautiful, full of love, and full of wonder. I hold this idea true for myself, for those around me, and ultimately for all of us on Earth as we engage in the game of unbecoming our limited perceptions and embracing our true Divine selves.

Travel Between Lives

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 21:58:36 -0700

During my morning meditations, I often contact Light Beings from various realms for counseling, teaching or just for fun. One of my favorite meditation activities is to travel through time, space or dimensions on the back of Pegasus, the winged white horse. He invariably has some exciting new place to visit to help me gain deeper understanding of my current life experiences.
On one such journey, Pegasus and I flew back through time to a mountain range in the Himalayas. As we approached the mountain, I could see an old man sitting in meditation at a cave opening. I quickly realized the old man was me in a past life. I left Pegasus' back and merged my consciousness with my past life self.
I was very old in that lifetime, much older than people live now. Through a long life of contemplation and service, I gained vast experience and wisdom about the workings of the world. I knew it would soon be time to leave the body behind, and I was packaging up all my knowledge for delivery to a future lifetime - a lifetime of great opportunity on the planet. I used my awareness to travel into the future in the form of a large hawk. As I circled the air in my future life, the red rocks of Sedona were clearly visible below.
Still merged with the consciousness of my past life self, traveling through time as the hawk, I watched as we glided lower toward the ground. To my surprise, we were approaching the house I lived in in my present life. I could see myself through the window sitting in quiet meditation.
My consciousness shifted abruptly as a shadow fell over my present life eyes. I snapped them open and saw a magnificent bird in the sky flying toward my window. The sunlight lit the hawk from behind surrounding it in a bright aura of light. We locked eyes, and I recognized myself smiling at myself from behind those deep eyes. Our connection strengthened, and the veils of time loosened.
I felt myself give and receive the package of past life knowledge simultaneously as the hawk veered sharply right. The sunlight hit me full in the face, filling my eyes with bright light, the very light which the hawk seemed to carry on its back. Strong waves of motion shook my entire body as I felt the information encoding into my light field. I closed my eyes again and let the integration occur. After some time, moments or minutes I'm not sure, my body calmed, and I was filled with a deep peace.
Something inside me had shifted. Something was present now which was not present before. I felt grateful and inspired, and I found myself again on the back of Pegasus. As we completed our return journey home, I could feel my physical body tingling, still feeling the effects of my precious encounter with myself.

Morning Prayer

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 09:48:50 -0700

I choose this day to walk the path of Love and Light, to align my actions with the Divine Plan, to fully receive the loving support of the Angelic Realm, the Elemental Realm, the Animal Kingdom & all people & Light Beings who support me.
I choose this day to walk in Joy, in Happiness, and in Peace, to be in Love, in Integrity, and in Alignment with the Will of God.
I choose this to Shine My Light in the world, to fully embrace my Highest Good, and to be of Service to the Divine Plan.
Aho!

Messages from the Angelic Realm

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 09:00:08 -0700

This picture was taken at sunset on 10/17/2006 at the summit of Chimney Rock in Sedona. After enjoying the climb, we offered ceremony and meditation for bringing light to the world. As requested in my morning meditations, I placed a small crystal in a crack in the rock and read the following messages which I channelled from the Angelic Realm.
• Validate that "You ARE Worthy." You are a King among Men. You have the power to enact great change in the world. You are loved!
• You are alive and full of life force. You are empowered to make change in the world and are fully supported by the Angelic Realm. You are loved!
• It is your chosen duty to shine your light on the planet, to enlighten the world with your presence. You are empowered to bring about positive change for yourself and those around you. You are loved!
• You are part of the beloved whole, experiencing separation that you may assist in healing these wounds. You are deeply loved!
• You are authorized to speak your truth and to spread love to the planet through your words and deeds. The world needs you to be empowered that all may heal. You are loved!
• You may see your truth with Clarity. You fogginess has been lifted. Do not fear your intentions for they are in alignment with the higher plan. Your gifts are needed by all those who inhabit the planet. You are needed and loved!
• You are here on a mission of service. Your calling is to heal and be healed that all may be whole again. Your mission is important, and you are deeply loved!
• You have been selected for this life because you embody all that is needed to accomplish your tasks. You are fully supported, and you are loved. You will succeed.
• You are the light of the world. You are one small step from coming home to celebrate the success of this game. You are dearly loved!
• There is Unity among all God's creations. You can feel it in your heart, and you will use it to lift the souls of men. It is time. You are dearly loved!
• The chasm between the Male and Female is narrowing. You will heal this split in all your relations by filling the gap with love. You are truly loved!
• You are an instrument of peace and love, placed upon the planet to heal the wounds of Separation. Do not be fooled into thinking they are stronger than you, for you may heal them with a single thump of your heart. You are love embodied!

Jahsah added his own prayers and stood a large rock on edge to form this marker.
It can be seen from Dry Creek road if you catch it from the right perspective.

Being In Community

Thu, 5 Oct 2006 16:53:57 -0700

The past month has been a whirlwind of travel for me. I started the month in Nevada, camping in the desert for the 8 day Burning Man festival. A week later, I sat in Los Angeles for 3 days receiving the teachings of the Dalai Lama. A Healer's Apprenticeship Intensive weekend with Michael Tamura followed immediately in Mount Shasta, and the next weekend I enjoyed a gathering of Jim Self's Mastering Alchemy students in Denver. The month wound down back home in Sedona, with my Guided Meditation and Healing evening and various reconnections and gatherings of friends.
As I look back over the month, a common theme is evident. Each of these events provided me an opportunity to participate in a conscious community. Each experience taught me something about community and helped me see and change my patterns of interacting with others.
Burning Man set the stage with a boisterous community of 40,000 people. The rules were simple: inclusion, giving, and participation. I began the week by helping install the finishing touches on the Conexus Cathedral - a beautiful open-air structure designed to inspire and support spiritual gatherings. The first wedding was already underway as a friend and I screwed the last pinnacle in place. Throughout the week, I was continually impressed by the creativity, openness, and genuineness of this diverse community. Even as a 'newbie', I felt welcome and at home. I was left with the feeling that I was part of something bigger than myself, that my contributions made a difference, and that I was accepted for who I am.
The teachings of the Dalai Lama were a completely different experience - three days of quiet meditation and listening to His Holiness Dalai Lama. Although the teachings were complex and mentally challenging at times, a theme emerged in my mind over the course of the days. I found a deeper understanding of the concepts of individuality and oneness. I felt my 'self' being redefined as "God having an experience of separateness called Jeffrey", as if the 'I' in "I am Jeffrey" is the same actor as in "I am Kate" or "I am Bill". I felt a oneness with everyone which was not in conflict with my individual identity. Community was acknowledged as divine plan rather than something man made.
The spiritual retreats in Mt. Shasta and Denver gave me further opportunities to experience community. I noticed my interactions with others, how I tend to observe at times rather than participate, how I inadvertently keep people at arms length, fearing I will be misunderstood or not accepted. This is a long standing pattern that I've grown very comfortable with. It forms the grooves in the road that I unconsciously return to.
Fortunately, the radical acceptance I experienced at Burning Man and the divine connectedness I felt with the Dalai Lama encouraged me to change this pattern, to step forward and interact with others and to come out of my protective shell. The results were immediate and very gratifying. I felt connected to the "I am" in everyone, and I experienced joy and common ground with others that had previously gone overlooked.
I returned to Sedona with a renewed enthusiasm for creating community and was welcomed by record turnout for my monthly meditation. I found myself standing in the grocery store having meaningful conversations with people I barely know, and within days I had reconnected with many friends. I realized that community is not something I need to create, that it already exists, just waiting for me to participate. I simply need to acknowledge myself as part of the whole and celebrate the individuality in everyone.

Fantasy of the Mind

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 19:03:06 -0700

Earlier this week, a friend suggested I was basing my opinions and actions on fantasy instead of reality. My initial reaction was to shrug off this suggestion, to assume they simply couldn't see or didn't share my optimistic view of the world. I was blessed with courageously optimistic parents, and it rubbed off on me. I still remember my Mom saying "Everything always works out!" I took this to heart as a child, and I still operate from this premise today. My experiences reflect this belief back to me, and situations do generally (perhaps even always) work out for me.
Thus, my friend's suggestion that I'm operating from fantasy seemed out of place. Perhaps my friend was simply unable to see things as hopefully as I could. I remembered my favorite definition of fantasy and reality, that reality is a dream you can let yourself have and fantasy is a dream you can't let yourself have. Perhaps, my friend simply couldn't have my dream, thus to them it was a fantasy. I liked this assumption and dismissed the comment.
Of course, as with all moments of self-delusion, something didn't quite feel right. Even though I could reason my way out of the comment, it still bothered me. The thought lingered in my head asking for my attention. After a day or so of discomfort, I decided to meditate on the subject to see if I could find some answers. By this time, I wasn't surprised to find some truth in my friend's comment. I was indeed operating from some stretched assumptions - a different definition of fantasy. This was useful information which helped me make changes to my space, but even more interesting was how and why I had gotten there.
I thought perhaps I had simply tricked my intuition into seeing life the way I wanted it to be rather than seeing life the way it really was. This is very easy to do and is the reason I strive to read energy from a neutral space. I strive to allow all possibilities equal permission to be true. I may still have a preference, but I don't try to bend my perceptions to match my preference. After all, this would be called "psychic writing" instead of "psychic reading"!
Looking at the energy of this situation, however, I could clearly see that the fantasy was a creation of my mind rather than my intuition. My original intuitive perception was accurate. It showed me a situation I was very excited about, so excited in fact that I became attached to it. Instead of continuing to perceive from a neutral space, my mind distracted me with possibilities. I stopped looking with my intuition and asked my mind to find ways I could help this situation along. My mind dutifully went about the process of creating a fantasy around this reality.
Our minds have an awesome ability to process information, calculate "what-if" scenarios, and interject new possibilities for consideration. The do not, however, have the ability to determine which scenarios are real. For this reason, I think it's fair to say our minds are always operating on fantasy, because they lack the basic ability to differentiate their own inventions from reality. Fortunately, our intuition is exactly this ability. When used with neutrality, our intuition clearly identifies that which is real.
Does this mean our minds are useless? Definitely not. They are great tools for coming up with creative questions. Our minds can start with little or no information and invent many wonderful scenarios and suggest new possibilities to explore and enjoy. When it comes to sorting through all these great ideas, however, we must return our attention to our intuition. We can take all the great questions invented by our minds and find answers for them with our intuition. We can separate fantasy from reality.
As I returned my attention to my intuition, I realized that clinging to my mind's fantasies was actually separating me from the very situation I was so excited about. As I wandered in the possibilities created in my mind, I failed to notice reality moving on without me, moving on in a direction even better than my fantasies. I chuckled at this paradox and decided to let my fantasies go, to simply be present in the moment and enjoy the ride. The uncomfortable feeling that had been chasing me went away, and a few days later my friend mentioned that I seemed different - more grounded and present.
I smiled and thanked my intuition for once again saving me from my mind.

Co-Creating With Spirit

Sun, 6 Aug 2006 11:37:34 -0700

One great thing about co-creating with Spirit is that it's much less work than creating on my own. When I create completely on my own, I have to identify what I want, brainstorm for ways to create it, decide on the best way, then put everything in motion to make it happen. Each of these steps takes substantial time, energy, and stress, especially when I pressure myself to make the best decision. At times, I've spent months and even years thinking about a change before finally deciding which path to take.
When I co-create with Spirit, however, I only need to take the first step - identifying what I want - and Spirit takes over from there. In other words, I only need to ask the question, and Spirit provides the answer. I don't need to figure out or even understand how my desire will get fulfilled.
Even though I've seen this work for many years in my life, it still surprises me how easy it is to co-create. When my daughter was a new born baby, I felt I needed to make more money to pay the bills. I had a good paying job already, and I was far to busy to look for another job or figure out another way to make ends meet. In desperation, I asked my Spirit guides for help. My request was simple - I need a better paying job, and I need it to find me. In less than two weeks, a former coworker called and asked me to come interview at her company. I refused the invitation several times before she suggested I simply come to lunch and meet the VP. During lunch, I discovered the job was more interesting and it payed 30% more than my current position. My request had been answered! All I had to do is say yes.
This may seem overly simple, but I've seen it work time and time again. In many ways, it's as simple as ordering food at a restaurant. I look at the menu and select what I want to eat. I may even ask for some special treatment or changes to items from the menu. Then I place my order and ... I wait for my meal to arrive. I trust that the what I ordered will arrive right in front of me.
If you're wondering why this is a good analogy for co-creating with Spirit, consider all the things I didn't need to do to get my meal. I didn't follow the waiter into the kitchen to make sure the order was placed correctly. Nor did I tell the cook how to prepare my meal. In fact, I didn't even need to know how to make the meal. I didn't have to shop for ingredients or wait for them to arrive. I didn't have to wait for lengthy preparations as these were made in advance of my order. Everything needed to fulfill my order was already waiting in the kitchen. I didn't have to ask the waiter to make sure my food was on the way, and I didn't even have to get up from the table to get it.
I simply communicated my choice, trusted that it would arrive, and accepted it when it did. Co-creating with Spirit works in much the same way. All the ingredients and preparations for what I might want are already available to Spirit. I don't need to know how to create what I want. I just need to ask for it. Then I simply trust that it will arrive and accept it and enjoy it when it does.

Creating Through the Chakras

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 18:27:34 -0700

I was talking with a friend last week about how we manifest things in our lives through use of our energy bodies. I always enjoy these conversations because new information and understanding comes each time these concepts are discussed. I've heard and told the story many times of how energy makes it's way one chakra at a time from the top of the head (seventh chakra) down to the solar plexus (third chakra). Since the third chakra is often described as being used for manifestation, the story usually ended there. This time, however, my friend asked how the second and first chakras are used for creation. After all, the second chakra is the seat of enormous creative energy, especially in women. It's hard to imagine that chakra isn't used in the process of creating.
As I tuned in to get more information on the topic, and I not only understood how these lower two chakras come into play, but I also discovered why my own creations often manifest only partially. Since my understanding of creation stopped at my third chakra, my creations often stopped there as well. Over a year ago, I wrote an article on the topic "Empty Creations", but I only understood this week why my creations sometimes stay empty. Updating my information on how we create will undoubtedly help me take my ideas further.
Here's my updated story of how we use our chakras for creation. In general, we take high vibration energy from outside our bodies and process it in each chakra from the top of our head (aka. seventh or crown chakra) to the base of our spine (aka. first or root chakra). In each chakra, the energy is filtered, refined, and stepped down to a slower vibration until it finally manifests into the physical realm. At any point along the way, we may decide the creation is complete to our liking and stop it at a particular stage of creation. Not all ideas are intended to fully manifest, but those that are take the following steps along their way.
7 (top of head) - An idea comes through inspiration from our higher self into our awareness at our crown chakra.
6 (forehead, third eye) - Our intuition and our mind are used to expand and refine our understanding of this idea.
5 (throat) - We begin to communicate and share our idea verbally or otherwise. Our idea also communicates and combines with our other ideas.
4 (heart) - Our idea begins to be felt in the heart as we try it on for size and decide if it feels right for us.
3 (solar plexus) - We use our third chakra to create the situations and structures which will contain our idea.
2 (naval) - Our creative energy fills this container, breathing life force into our idea and bringing it to life.
1 (base of spine) - Our idea is birthed into the physical, and the umbilical cord is severed. At this point, we can admire our creation as something separate from ourself, created by us but no longer just part of us.
Although I've described the process in linear steps, ideas are often being processed in multiple chakras at the same time. I especially like the last three steps in this creation story, as they represent my new understanding of this process. I'm looking forward to applying these new ideas to creations in my life. I expect I'll be both delighted and amused by the results. I encourage you to also play with these ideas but not take them too seriously. Keep the parts you like and rewrite the rest into your own story of creation!

Follow Your Heart!

Fri, 2 Jun 2006 19:24:40 -0700

When my daughter was born 8-1/2 years ago, I asked myself "If I can teach Mariah one thing while she's growing up, what would it be?". The answer came immediately to my mind. I would teach her to follow her heart and trust that it will never lead her astray. The idea sounded so easy, but I quickly realized that, as a parent, I must teach through my actions. The only way I could teach her this was to follow my own heart and be an example for her.
Years later, I am still working toward this goal. I believe I have followed my heart more often than not, but occasionally I notice a nagging feeling that I can do better, as if some part of this important practice has eluded me. I still find myself at times second guessing my heart, asking my mind to justify why I want the things I want, asking if the things I want are really good for me.
Last week, I had an experience which changed that for me. I was meditating on the ideas taught in the previous weekend's workshop, a Healer's Apprentice Intensive by Michael Tamura in Mt. Shasta, CA. The workshop focused on certainty, trust, and faith, and we spent considerable time working on each. While "certainty" and "faith" seemed easy for me, "trust" was a little trickier. While meditating after the workshop, I realized I haven't been trusting my heart to guide me. I've been afraid it would lead me into situations which were not good for me or not good for others.
When I noticed this lack of trust in my heart, I asked how I could change it. The following affirmation came to mind. "I align my heart with my highest good." After repeating this sentence a few times out loud, my energy really started to shift. I felt years of mistrust begin to unravel from my space. As the layers of energy released, I began feeling better and better. The nagging fear that I might misstep faded and was replaced by a simple knowing that my heart has always been true.
Little insights flashed into my awareness of times when I thought my heart had led me astray, of things I said or did that I later judged as missteps. I saw glimpses of the larger meaning in these events and understood how they played a positive role in my spiritual growth and the growth of those around me. I was left with a great feeling of relief and a sense that my heart really has led me in a wonderful direction, even if I didn't understand it at the time.
Since this meditation, life has been a little easier and lighter. I no longer have that little voice second guessing my wants and desires. When I have a decision to make, I simply ask myself "Do I want this?" and listen to my heart. If the answer is "Yes!", I know I am acting in my highest good. I don't need to think about it or justify it with my mind, and I don't need to understand why it is good for me. I just listen to my heart and let it guide me.
Ironically, this practice of following my heart reminds me of Mariah. As a rule, she simply does what she wants, saying whatever comes to mind and doing what feels natural at the time. I could say she acts like a child, in the most beautiful and unassuming way. She simply follows her heart. It makes me wonder who's really teaching whom!

Struggle of Truths

Tue, 2 May 2006 22:55:32 -0700

In the past months, I've been journeying into my subconscious, searching for understanding and peace of mind around myself and my personal relationships. As is "the norm" in Sedona, the right situations have appeared at the right time to help me with this journey. In mid-March, I began attending a free class on Sacred Sexuality & Conscious Relationships.
The class explored common relationship paradigms in the US in light of the religious and social structures of the past. It was interesting to see how our current culture is both struggling to fit into and struggling to break out of these ideas from the past. With regard to relationships, I believe we commonly speak from the "truth of the past" but act from the "truth of the present". The struggle comes when there is a gap between these two truths.
In my definition, "the truth of the past" is a mental construct - a set of rules and beliefs which we, as a society, have held as true. It is the dominant ideology which is passed down from generation to generation through stories, explicit and implicit teaching, through our media, and even our laws. These beliefs are so widely agreed upon that they are largely unconscious and often sit unchallenged in our minds.
In contrast, "the truth of the present" is an emotional or spiritual force which guides our present thoughts and actions. It is the internal compass which indicates our true desires in the moment. I say it is emotional or spiritual, because it is not confined by the logic of the mind. The truth of the present doesn't have to "make sense", yet it is still true for us in the moment. We feel it. We know that it is true. But, we are often unable to explain or justify it.
When these truths disagree, our mental beliefs are at odds with our emotional and spiritual desires. If we don't reconcile these two, we are left to choose between one or the other. When I choose to adhere to my mental beliefs and ignore my emotional or spiritual impulses, I feel an internal emptiness and lack of meaning and enthusiasm in my life. When I choose to embrace my emotional and spiritual impulses without updating my mental beliefs, I often feel judgment or guilt about my actions.
Many times, I'm not even aware that I'm making a choice. I simply defer unconsciously to one truth or the other. I notice the effects in my life as frustrating patterns which repeat despite my strong desire to stop them. Other times, I'm aware of the choice and struggle with it internally. No matter how long I consider the situation, no clear path appears which satisfies my conflicting truths. When I do finally choose, I'm aware of the tradeoffs and feel disappointed by my choice.
When I realize, however, that my struggle comes not from an impossible external choice but from conflict within my inner truths, I finally see a clear path forward. I must look inside and reconcile my mental beliefs with my emotional and spiritual desires. The most challenging part of this process is simply discovering the truth about each within myself. While I am amazed by the layers of fear and unconsciousness that surround both truths, I am equally amazed by how quickly they come to light when I search for them. If I am brave enough to ask the question and listen to the answer, the answer is always clear.
Invariably, this reconciliation involves examining and changing my mental beliefs. Sometimes, releasing myself from unneeded mental beliefs allows my emotional and spiritual desires to become my clear path forward. Other times, the emotional and spiritual desires which were so strong moments before fade completely once the opposing mental beliefs are released. It is as if these desires were in place with the sole intent of exposing my unhealthy mental beliefs.
Regardless of the path revealed by this process, I am left with a feeling of peace. When my mental, emotional, and spiritual truths are in harmony, I know which direction to take and feel good about taking it. With this clarity comes the words and actions I need to take my next steps. The struggle of truths is no more.

Love Without Rules

Sun, 9 Apr 2006 15:45:21 -0700

Recently I read the following aphorism inside a Dove dark chocolate wrapper: Love without rules. In the past weeks, this simple statement has inspired wonderful meditations and conversations with friends. In it's simplicity, the statement leaves much room for personal interpretation. To some it speaks of unconditional Love and releasing the expectations we have for our loved ones. To others it gives permission to explore themselves outside society's rules about Love. For me, the statement has been an invitation to let go of my own rules about how I should (or should not) express Love.
As I began meditating and exploring my subconscious ideas of Love, I was surprised to find out just how many rules I have about Love. I quickly realized that my inner "Rules of Love" focused around one primarily goal - protecting myself from being hurt by Love. Even as I type this, I'm laughing at the words "protecting myself from being hurt by Love". I suspect being hurt by Love is much like being crushed by Happiness, being tortured with Peace, or even being stricken with Joy. When faced with such frightening concepts, it's easy to see why so much protection is in order!
My safety rules for Love took into account many comments I've received from others regarding how I love. I'm too slow to love. I'm too quick to love. I love too much. I love too little. My Love is too hot. My Love is too cold. I love too many. I love too few. My Love is too intense. My Love it too distant. I love for too long. I don't love long enough. I give too much in Love. I take too much in Love. I love in too many ways. I love in too few ways. I love in inconsistent ways. I don't love the right way.
From this collection of ideas, I had concluded one very disconcerting thing - Love carefully for it is a dangerous endeavor which inevitably leads to error, judgement, and pain. Ouch! No wonder I've felt increasingly gun shy about falling in Love. No wonder I've felt a need to protect myself from Love. Fortunately, becoming aware of my subconscious rules and beliefs has given me an opportunity to change them, and I am happy to have changed these. Not only were they at odds with my conscious beliefs about Love, but they were impairing my willingness and ability to express Love.
Since releasing these inner rules about Love, I've felt great relief and a growing sense of space inside. I can feel doors that were once closed beginning to open within me. I don't know where this simple exercise will lead me, but I'm grateful to Spirit for leaving this small message for me in such an unlikely place. Love without rules.

Resisting Communication

Wed, 1 Mar 2006 23:49:45 -0700

During my training as a clairvoyant, I began understanding that all things in my experience are not necessarily my own. This is true on many levels, and learning to perceive the fine lines between myself and not-myself continues to be both challenging and rewarding. For example, I discovered that thoughts in my head are not always my thoughts. Sometimes they are thoughts from others that I am simply 'hearing' in my head. These 'others' might be my friends or family or even just spirits. At first, I found this very disturbing. I didn't want anyone else's thoughts in my head, and I sought to 'protect' myself from these foreign thoughts.
Similarly, as I developed my sensitivity to perceive and feel my emotions, I noticed that the emotions I am feeling are not always my own. Sometimes I am feeling the sadness of someone close to me, but it is not my sadness. Sometimes I am feeling angry, but it is not my anger. At times, I even feel emotions because I think the world expects me to feel a certain way. I feel guilty because I've been told I should, not because I actually feel guilt. As before, my reaction to this realization was a desire to separate myself from other's emotions. I wanted to be in control of my emotions and not be effected by the emotional patterns of others.
On a more subtle level, I started noticing the effects of other people's energy (attention, thoughts, information) on my space (physically, emotionally, and mentally). I noticed how some of my parents' challenges had become my challenges. I noticed how my opinions and beliefs were often simply mirroring the opinions and beliefs of others rather than being genuinely my own. Even my relationship choices were greatly effected by those around me. Was I in my current relationship because of my desires or her desires? Or was I in it because my family, friends, and society thought I should be? What outside influences led me to my job and career? Was it even something I wanted to do, or was I simply the effect of the world around me?
The more I noticed the effects of other people on my life, the more I wanted to separate from them. I wanted to draw a definitive line between my energy and other energies. I perceived the influence of others as an intrusion, and I thought I would be happier if I could separate from them. I wanted to clear my space of all energy from others and clear my energy from everyone else's space. I wanted to be in control of my space and my experience. This became a prime directive in my life, and after years of practice I prided myself on my ability to quickly detach from others. As soon as I noticed someone else's energy in my space or my energy in someone else's space, I cleaned it up. I had a heightened awareness of my affect on others and their affect on me, and I tried to minimize these effects.
About a year ago, however, I began to question my decision to be separate. I was pleased at my abilities, and I felt more in control of my life, but my insistence on separation was making me feel more lonely than happy. Although I had close relationships, even my closest ones were kept at arm's length. Life was beginning to feel somewhat academic and sterile. Although I was adept at creating and separating from situations and relationships, it all felt a little meaningless.
As I reconsidered my perspective on separation, I started to change my behavior. Today, when I notice someone else's energy or attention on me, I observe and communicate with it instead of automatically rejecting it. When I notice my own attention on someone else, I let it be ok instead of rigorously pulling it back. The results have been fascinating. I've found that instead of being intrusive, there is a subtle intelligence behind these interactions. The thoughts, emotions, and information from others often times hold answers to the questions I have about my life. And, allowing my thoughts and emotions to be with someone else can help them understand things I'm unable to communicate verbally.
Simply put, I'm realizing that the exchange of energy with others, be it through words, touch, sight, thoughts, or emotions is normal, healthy communication. How I respond to this communication is up to me. As I use my clairvoyant abilities to improve communication rather than stifle it, I've been rewarded with a much richer and enjoyable life. The loneliness I was feeling has faded, and life has begun to move more quickly. Being available for more communication has helped situations that once felt stuck to start flowing effortlessly. Rather than seeking to control my life, I'm spending more time enjoying the surprises it brings. It is still useful to know how to be separate, but I choose to be so less and less frequently. And with these choices, a pleasant feeling of connectedness and oneness is developing. Perhaps we are meant to be in communication after all!

Nature’s Seduction

Wed, 1 Feb 2006 10:33:37 -0700

One of the things I enjoy most about Sedona is the quietness I feel here. The beautiful scenery seems to be constantly whispering to me, inviting me to forget my important thoughts and worries and simply enjoy the beauty of a sunrise, the trickle of a stream, or the vastness of the night sky. When I accept this invitation, letting go of my thoughts for even a moment, the gentle happiness of nature begins to seep into my body and mind. I smile as my thoughts fade away, and I laugh quietly at how easily my important tasks and deadlines lose their ability to command my attention.
As the noise of my mind fades, an interesting shift occurs. I stop trying to solve the problems of my day. I stop trying to find answers to the questions I'm being asked. I stop trying to determine the best choices to make. And as the effort of trying and problems and questions and choices fade from my attention, I begin to notice simple things. The sunlight's shadow on the red rock cliffs reminds me of some time long past. A bird glides by on the wind and says hello. The water in the creek invites me to jump in. It's as if nature is seducing me with an orchestra of tiny instruments, a flood of subtle gestures which combine to overwhelm the loud thoughts and demands of my mind.
On the occasions that I let myself be seduced - when I relax on the couch in the middle of a work day, when I jump into the river for no apparent reason, when I sit quietly in the sun beside a trail - I become filled with questions of a different kind. I notice that the world is responding to me, communicating with me, inspiring me. As I sense this, I naturally begin asking questions instead of trying to answer them. Each question I ask is greeted by an answer, and each answer inspires another question. Time passes without notice, my dialog with nature continuing for as long as I forget the important questions of my mind.
Eventually, inspiration is replaced with reason. My mind wins, and I remember the things I need to do, the places I must go, and the questions I am supposed to answer. The important distractions of my life overtake my peaceful awareness. I look at the clock and realize I need to get moving. As I return to the 'world of doing', however, I stop for a moment and remember the 'world of being' I just experienced. I smile at how easily I gave it up to the task at hand. I thank nature for her orchestra of sights and sounds, of questions and answers, and I quietly promise myself to be seduced by her again.

Finding Your Spiritual Path

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 21:52:30 -0700

It's always interesting to hear the questions people ask when they get a psychic reading. Topics range from sleuth work and predictions to inquiries about one's life purpose and spiritual path. My favorite questions are the latter. While sleuth work and predictions can be fun, questions about one's spiritual path always stimulate more profound and meaningful answers.
A question I've heard many times is "Am I on my spiritual path?" I find this one a bit amusing since the answer is always "Yes". To me, one's spiritual path has a quality similar to that posed by the question "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" Just as your path determines where you go in life, your path is itself determined by where you are and where you have been. This is why I say the answer is always "Yes". Your path is determined by where you walk, thus it's not possible to be "off your path". Certainly, you can choose a more difficult or round-about path, but it is your path nonetheless. Of course, you can just as easily choose a more joyful path which takes you directly to where you want to be.
The key words above are "you can choose". You are the author of our own life story, and you are constantly writing and rewriting that story. You are defining your path even as you are walking it. From what I have seen, there are no wrong choices or bad stories. We simply create what we create, based upon our previous choices and experiences as well as our desired outcomes. I'm not suggesting that all paths are equally fun, honorable or productive, nor that your choices do not have consequences. I can say, however, that I have never seen Spirit judge someone's choices as "wrong" or "bad".
Another quality I find interesting about our spiritual paths, is that they are such a mystery to us. If you are indeed writing your own story, why does it seem so surprising to you? Why is it so hard to see where you are going? Why is it difficult to choose which way to turn?
From my experience, this confusion stems from a lack of understanding, belief, and conviction that you really are writing your own story. If you don't take ownership of your life, it will always seem as if someone else is determining your path. At times, you may even create unpleasant situations to validate your belief that your life is out of your control. You will continue to be surprised by where you end up and wonder how you got there.
On the other hand, accepting that you are responsible for and in control of your life immediately gives you the power to change it. You can begin erasing the parts of your story you don't like and writing new chapters that bring you much joy. You can stop searching for everyone else's opinions on your life's path and simply author it yourself. Trust me - it can be very fun to be the author of your story!
So, if you are worried that you are not on your spiritual path, you can relax! Even if you're not aware of it, your path is there and you are directly on it. You don't need to search for it or discover it. Just remember it has always been there and acknowledge that it truly is yours - that you are writing it even as you consider these words. Admire your creation and add a few good laughs to your story.

Being of Service

Mon, 5 Dec 2005 23:15:38 -0700

Several months ago, I started a new morning meditation practice inspired by a workshop I took with Jim Self from Avalon. Among other fun things, my meditations include communicating with certain light beings. I'm no stranger to communication with spiritual beings, however doing so on a daily basis has been new for me, and the results have been incredible!
In the past, I've sought spiritual guidance primarily in times of need - when I felt stuck or felt like I needed help. My experience over the past months has been quite the opposite. I start each day by centering myself, going within, and communicating with each light being. At first, this felt a little odd because I didn't have anything in particular to ask about. I didn't have any problems that I wanted help solving. I quickly realized, however, that it didn't matter what we talked about. The conversations were always interesting and enlightening.
I remember talking with Archangel Michael one morning, and he said something that surprised and amused me. I had been wondering about my life, and he said, "If you want the answers, start asking the questions." While this may seem rather obvious, it had not occurred to me until he said it. I'd been asking questions like "What would you like to tell me today?" and "How can you help me with my spiritual growth?" While these were great questions and I enjoyed many fun insights, things really got interesting when I began asking specific questions.
For starters, I decided to get the basics out the way. So, I asked "Who am I as a spiritual being?", "What am I supposed to be doing?", and "What is living on Earth all about anyway?". Every morning I'd ask a question of each light being I worked with, and every morning I got incredible answers. In the past few months, I've had the most amazing spiritual travels - trips to different places around (and inside and above) the planet, visits to past lives, and journeys into other dimensions. Each step along the way has been full of insightful experience and patient and loving commentary.
Of all I've heard and seen, however, the most life changing communication was very simple. I was told "You are here to be of service." Again, this may seem obvious, since I've had a reading and healing practice for years. However, this simple statement completely changed my outlook on life. When I heard the word "service", I realized that I've lived my life by the middle-class American idea of service, namely that "service" is something I get rather than something I give. Sure, I've given back at times, but giving back by definition assumes I've received something as well. While I consider myself a generous person, I've received more generously than I've given.
I'm not judgmental about this. We do as we're taught, and I was taught to create success and happiness for myself. It's not that I didn't want to be of service. It simply never crossed my mind. Well, with one simple sentence, that changed. Without a second thought, I decided that I want to be of service. And, things have been different ever since. I've been seeing opportunities that I didn't notice before, and I've been feeling happier about life. In short, I now feel like I have a purpose!
Slowly but surely, my actions have started to reflect this thinking as well. Thoughts of service gave me the idea to offer the October "Living Your Wildest Dreams" class free of charge. When I mentioned it to Ken, he immediately agreed it was a great idea. Not surprisingly, the class was packed. Not only did it feel good to offer something for free, but the follow on business from the class was strong as well. I was amused to discover that life is fond of giving back as well. Just this week, I thought of a new way to be of service. I've decided to give free healings to 100 other healers during my first year in Arizona. I'm excited to see what happens when I give unconditionally for an extended period of time. (You can track my progress too at www.100healings.com)
In closing, I encourage you to personally consider the idea of "service". What does it mean to you? Does it feel scary, exciting, boring, or fun? Are there ways you've always wanted to contribute to the world, but you just haven't got around to it? Consider implementing one small thing that you can unconditionally give to the world! Even something as small as a flower, a hug or a smile can change someone's day and perhaps change yours as well.

The Space Between Dreams

Mon, 7 Nov 2005 23:10:00 -0700

As I'm making the transition between Colorado and Arizona, many new opportunities have opened up for me here in Colorado. I've reconnected with old friends and I've met many new people. Last week, just days before selling my house in Denver, I discovered a community of healers in my old neighborhood. I have wanted to connect with other healers in the area, but why did I find them just before moving? Since deciding to move, my local healing clientele has grown significantly, filling my final weeks with healing sessions. Some of the business is driven by the fact that I'll have limited availability for in person sessions in Denver, however much of it is simply due to new connections being made in the past month. Another example is the last Spirit 2 Spirit class in Denver (Living Your Wildest Dreams). The class was our largest Denver class and brought many new faces and clients. Even my personal life has been affected. I've met new people and established fun, new friendships just before leaving the state.
While watching this happen, I've been wondering why so many new connections appear just before a big transition. Life seems to have sped up in some way. Months worth of new opportunities have appeared in a few short weeks. Is it a sign that I should stay in Denver? Am I missing out by moving right now? Should I reconsider my move? Actually, I think the explanation is quite the opposite. As I prepare myself for my new life in Sedona, I've been shifting my energy to match my new dreams and ambitions. Even though I have not yet moved physically, my heart has already made the transition. This shift in my energy is causing me to attract and to notice opportunities that I did not see before. Even though these people and opportunities were right under my nose, I did not see them before, yet I see them now. Why? Because I'm already operating from a new vibration, and I am more available for new opportunity. Another way to think of this is that I'm asking new questions energetically, and the universe is already responding with new answers.
I'm also aware that preparing to move has prompted me to wrap up old commitments and dreams here in Denver. I've met with old friends to enjoy some time together but also to adjust our friendships to a new situation. In a sense, I've been completing the old agreements of my relationships and setting the space for a new way of relating. At the same time, many of my old dreams for Denver are coming true. I've wanted to teach a large class at my house in Denver, and now I have. I've wanted to connect with healers in Denver, and it has happened. Even the old house projects that I wanted to complete have been completed or I've let go of my dream to complete them. Rather than leaving unfulfilled dreams, I've simply fulfilled them quickly before I go.
One fun realization I've had is that it doesn't really matter if I move. Many of the situations and experiences that I want to create in Sedona are already manifesting here in Denver. They are manifesting not because I'm relocating my belongings but because I'm rearranging myself personally. Moving gave me the motivation I needed to initiate some changes, however I could have made the same changes without moving. With or without a move, I'm finishing my old dreams and starting my new dreams, and the space in between is full of adventure. So, rather than feeling loss or sadness, I'm feeling appreciation for my life in Denver and enthusiasm for my life in Sedona. I'm looking forward to new places and people, and I'm happily acknowledging that everything I wanted was already available. I suppose it always is. Sometimes I just need a little nudge to help me see it.

What is Love?

Sat, 8 Oct 2005 00:30:00 -0700

A friend once asked me what I meant when I said "I love you". After some thought, I realized that for me "I love you" means I'm experiencing a moment of profound gratitude and appreciation for someone, for who they are as a spirit and for who they are as a person in a body.
When I feel it, this type of deep appreciation radiates from my heart. I don't know what else to call it other than love. I don't know what else love would be, but I can see how this expression may be confusing, because I don't think other people mean the same thing I mean.
For me, "I love you" is not an invitation or a promise. It's just the truth of how I feel, and when I'm feeling it, it's very hard not to say it. And, why would I want to not say it anyway? What could be more validating than being seen as a whole person, body and spirit, for all your strengths and all your idiosyncrasies, and to be completely appreciated and honored for who you are. I can't think of a better definition of love.

Wild Dreams Come True

Wed, 5 Oct 2005 20:54:30 -0700

One of the great benefits of teaching classes is the growth I get personally when preparing for and teaching a class. This month's class was no exception. In this month's class, Living Your Wildest Dreams, students explore their personal dreams and release limitations which get in the way of their dreams becoming reality.
When Ken and I started preparing for this class in August, I asked myself "What are my dreams?". Since I'm a dreamer at heart, identifying my dreams was easy. Starting small, I want to spend more time in nature. Getting wilder, I've long dreamed of giving up my corporate America day job and focusing on my spiritual healing and teaching business. On the really wild side, I want to write and publish a book.
The obvious next question was "Why are these just dreams instead of reality?". This one was a bit more difficult to answer, but with a little thought, I identified a healthy list of excuses. 1. I live in Denver rather than Boulder, so nature is a little too far away. 2. I have a full time job, so I don't have time to spend in nature anyway. 3. I'm not an author, and I don't have time to learn how to get a book published. 4. I can't give up my day job because I need the money. 5. I have stock options which might be worth money some day, so it would be foolish to quit my job. 6. I need my job to pay my mortgage and child support. 7. I just got done fixing up my house, so I should stay in it to enjoy all the work I've done. 8. I'm over leveraged on my house, so I can't sell it even if I want to. 9. If I sell my house now, I'll miss out if house prices go up. 10. I can't sell my house because my daughter might miss it. (She visits me 4 times/year.) And so on...
This fine list convinced me! My dreams were foolish, irresponsible, and greedy! Unfortunately, I still wanted them, and thinking about them made me want them more. And, how can I teach others to embrace their dreams if I can't do it myself? So, I rolled up my sleeves and started arm wrestling with my excuses. Together they seemed pretty strong, but individually they turned out to be rather weak. As I chipped away at them over the next month (come to class to learn how), my dreams started feeling more possible.
Then suddenly, after years of ignoring my dreams, I woke up one morning and said "I'm selling my house." I didn't know what that would accomplish, but at least I would be in motion. I contacted my friend Dave who is a realtor, planned to meet him in a week, and began feverishly fixing everything that "had to" be fixed before I could sell the house. Fortunately, the next week, my friend gently pointed out that all I really needed to do was put a sign in the yard. We looked at comparable houses in the area and realized that my house was worth considerably more I thought. Ten days after deciding to sell, I was on the market. I planned to move to Boulder to be closer to nature and shorten my commute.
A week later, Ken and I headed to a conference in Sedona, AZ. Driving into town, I was awed by the beauty of the area. Over the next few days, I admired the life style of the small town and was overwhelmed by support and interest for my spiritual thoughts and abilities. I even attended a seminar on writing and publishing a book. By the third day, I made up my mind to move. My heart was drawing me to Sedona. Now all I needed to do was sell the house. Within an hour, Dave called to tell me of an offer on the house. In the next few hours, we negotiated, agreed on terms, and my house was under contract for more than I thought was possible. I realized I could put the extra money in the bank to cover my child support. Combining that savings with my reduced living expenses meant I could cut my income in half. So, I did. Exactly 3 weeks after deciding to sell the house, I decided to cut my job in half and move to Sedona.
By simply releasing my fears around having my dreams, I stumbled into a situation where I would be close to nature, have time to enjoy it and to write, have support for my spiritual business, and even keep a stable income source. No wonder the class is called "Living Your Wildest Dreams!"

Heaven on Earth?

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 20:46:24 -0700

Someone recently asked me "What is your vision of Heaven on Earth?" At first, I thought this would be a difficult question to answer, however I realized that for me, Heaven on Earth is pretty simple.
As we raise our vibrations and awareness as people of Earth, we realize that we are all connected, not only with each other, but with everything else as well. With this awareness comes a shift in our attitudes and then behaviors. We move away from judgement, victimhood, and violence into appreciation, compassion, and positive empowered actions. We use our amazing skills and technologies to unite and help people rather than to divide and hurt people. We stop fearing ourselves and others and begin to actively and freely express love.
Sounds pretty good to me! Sign me up :-)

The Gift of the Moment

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 16:04:51 -0700

When we are young, the word "why" is an expression of wonder, an honest and spontaneous yearning to know something about the world. "Daddy? Why are roses red?" We accept the answer as given and move on to the next moment.
When we are older, the word "why" is often an expression of misunderstanding, an attempt to reconcile the frustration we feel when our experience doesn't match our expectation. Why isn't this moment as anticipated and what does that imply about my future?
Fortunately, youth is not just a measurement of passed days, but rather a perspective on life and a manner of expressing ourselves. At any time, we can choose to be young, to ask why like a child and to live in the moment.
When we are in the moment, we have no need to reconcile our experience with the past nor to know what it means in the future. We are free to enjoy life wholly without categorization or decision making. We simply experience. This is the present, the gift of the moment, that often goes unopened when we are not young.

What does “Psychic” mean?

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 14:45:01 -0700

I was driving to dinner last night with a friend, and we stopped briefly to talk with his neighbor. My friend introduced me and said, half-jokingly,
"Jeffrey's a psychic, so give him a call if you ever need to know your future!"
I smiled at this common misunderstanding of the term "psychic". When someone hears that I'm psychic, they often react in a similar manner, posing a question such as "Who was my 3rd grade teacher?" or "Will I win the lottery?" There seems to be general consensus in our society that psychics recount the past or predict the future. Neither is actually the case.
So what does "psychic" mean then? In my terminology, a "psychic" is not someone who is gifted or trained in viewing the past or future, but rather someone who is gifted or trained in perceiving the present.
Put simply, psychics perceive present time energy. Although stated concisely, this phrase packs a lot of meaning. To understand it better, let's break it down into three concepts: energy, perception, and present time.
Energy - As we know from Einstein's research, everything is energy. Thus, learning to perceive energy can have a wide variety of uses. Say, for example, that I have a back ache. If we believe "everything is energy", then my back is energy, my nerves are energy, even the ache is energy. In this case, the "ache" is my body's perception that some energy in the body is out of balance. As a psychic, I may perceive this imbalance as a collection of influencing energies. These energies may be tangible such as physical spinal misalignment or less tangible such as stored childhood emotional trauma or present time worry about an upcoming public performance. Noticing these energies gives me the opportunity to change my experience of a back ache by changing the influencing energies. In this example, it may be as simple as realizing that I am worried, laughing about it, and letting it go. As I let go of the worry, the tension in my back begins to fade.
Perception - Perceiving energy is a subtle skill which varies from person to person. Some people see energy; others feel it, hear it, or simply know it. Even though I use the words "see", "hear" and "feel", my perception of energy is significantly different than seeing, hearing, and feeling physical objects. Because most of my perceptions are physical in nature, however, I often map my subtle perceptions of energy to well known physical concepts.
Although I label these perceptions as "psychic", I don't believe they are experienced only by people who label themselves as "psychic". Most people I've met have had experiences where they inexplicably perceived information. They may have sensed distress in a far away sibling before finding out about some trauma or simply knew who was calling before picking up a ringing phone. In each case, the person was perceiving energy without the use of their physical senses.
Present Time - As a psychic, I perceive present time energy. I am not looking back at the past nor forward at the future, but rather I'm looking at energy right now in the present. At first, perceiving the present may not seem as exciting or as useful as perceiving the past or future. Consider, however, that each of your physical senses also perceive only the present. Even past pains and physical scars are experienced solely from their present manifestation.
Similar to physical signs of the past, perceiving present time energy gives a view into the past. Unlike the physical, however, the present influence of past subtle energies can be very distinct and clear. As in the example above, I may notice the present time influence of a past childhood trauma. Although looking at the present, I may "see" energies from past events which are still lingering in present time. These energies may still contain lots of information about the past event such as time, location, and other people involved.
Similarly, perceiving the present can give a view into the future. As in the example above, I may notice how an upcoming performance is causing a back ache in the present. Another way to think of this is to consider that a present time energy has both a location and a motion. Just as I can view a baseball moving through the air and "predict" when and where it will land, I can perceive the motion of many present time energies and "predict" where they will lead. Accuracy of such "predictions" may vary based on unforeseen influences. In the case of the baseball, unforeseen events such as rain, wind, or even a player catching and re-throwing the ball can change the accuracy of the prediction.
Although perceiving present time energies can give a view into the past or the future, the focus of psychic perception is generally the present. Understanding the energies of the present helps us choose our reaction to the present - whether it be a simple change of mood or a decision to move in a new direction.
Putting these concepts back together, psychics perceive present time energy. This perception is subtle but can be analogous to physical perception. Understanding the present can have implications on the past and future. Everything is energy, thus everything can be perceived in this manner. As with the physical, however, the ability to be perceived should not be confused with actual perception. Although you are personally capable of smelling all flowers on the planet, it is very unlikely that you will indeed do so.
So, the next time you meet a psychic, rather than asking something silly like "Will I win the lottery?" consider asking for insight on something that you are experiencing in present time. You might be surprised at the answer you get!

Dreams of Abandonment

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 06:10:12 -0700

I had a strange and profound experience as I awakened this morning. It started in a dream.
I had been rock climbing with a friend and lost track of time. I'm not sure if I had fallen asleep or for how long, but as my awareness returns, I find myself on a cramped ledge on the wall of an underground cavern. I can see only darkness below as the ledge drops off sharply on both sides. I'm safe, lying on my back with my legs scrunched up, but I'm afraid to move for fear that I will fall. A faint light trickles down from an opening above, and I can see my climbing partner intermittently on the other side. Her attention is elsewhere as I struggle to awaken and communicate with her.
"I want out of here," I think with frustration. I can see the rope dangling in the air some distance above me, too far to reach. Why am I so groggy, and why am I untied from the rope? I struggle to unclip my shoes from my harness and put them on my feet. With no room to sit up, it seems a precarious endeavor. I momentarily get my partner's attention telepathically. She lowers the rope, swings it to me, and I manage to tie in. As I wait for her to put me on belay, my frustration builds. Why can't she see that I want out of here? What's the hold up?
The dream shifts. We're roped up ready to climb. I realize I'm not on a ledge. I'm standing at the top of the imagined cavern, level with my partner. The gap between us is not even wide enough to fall into. I step over the opening and past my partner, still frustrated but relieved to be safely above ground. Why did I even bother to tie in? Why did I think I wasn't safe?
I feel embarrassed that I insisted my partner put me on belay when there was no need, no danger at all. As we're walking away, I ask why she left me. She shrugs and says she went to run a quick errand, unexpectedly met a friend and lost track of time. I'm still frustrated, but I'm not sure I should be.
My awareness returns to my bedroom. I don't open my eyes, but I can feel the bed beneath me. I keep hold of my dream but begin to notice my body as well. My lower chakras are wide open. Survival, abandonment, and helplessness are wiggling loose from my space, trying to release from my energy body. I gently help them along, coaxing them out of my space. My body jerks as my energy shifts.
As my body continues to release denser energies, I contemplate my dream. I "remember" an infant experience with my mother. As in the dream, I imagine danger when there is none. I lie on my back, scared, frustrated, and unable to move. I can see my mother intermittently above, but I'm unable to keep her attention. She is distracted, unaware of my imagined danger. Why isn't she paying attention to me? Why has she abandoned me?
I smile as the old energies move out and my body calms. I wonder how many times I've imagined myself unsafe? How many times have I been frustrated that someone wouldn't help me out of my invisible situation? I enjoy the moment, lying in bed with my eyes closed. I give myself time to settle firmly into my body and allow the remaining energy tremors to fade out. I notice a deep calm within as if some long held tension has finally escaped my grasp.
The funny thing is all I needed to do was let it go.

What Arms?

Mon, 4 Apr 2005 17:53:11 -0700

I was riding in the car with my 7 year old daughter, Mariah, and she asked what I was playing with. I explained to her that it was a gyroscope for strengthening my forearms. She said "Oh" and got quiet for a few minutes. I watched her in the rear view mirror, and she appeared to be deep in thought.

Finally, she said "Daddy?". I replied "What?". She got a big smile on her face as she exclaimed "You don't have four arms!"

Alternate Frames of Reference

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 23:08:04 -0700

Our mind's filter affects all of our perception, and I suspect most people don't even know it's there. Since we generally have no other frame of reference than our own thoughts, it's hard to see our own filter. I also find it funny that most people tend to think their filter is "truth". My experience has been that my filter is just a collection of ideas and suggestions that I've gathered randomly - some from society, many from my parents and people I've spent time with. It doesn't have much bearing on "truth".

The psychic work which involves out of body experiences provides an alternate frame of reference to this body/mind filter. This may be one of the reasons I'm so drawn to it. When I can perceive my own filter, I can start to neutralize it.

It's odd to have a frame of reference that's outside the body. I have several "places" that I use as a frame of reference for my "self": the center of my head (surprisingly, not many people spend much time there), a little platform at the top of my aura (I use this when doing trance medium work), my "astral body" (the body I travel in my dreams with), and the "threshold" between lives (I spent a couple years exploring this space - it's fascinating). Each give a unique perspective. In each, I feel my "self", my identity, but in each I have a different relationship to my physical body.

Have you ever been dreaming and also been aware of your body? You know you are dreaming, you can perceive something with you physical body, but you're also still experiencing parts of a dream. It's something like that. I generally (unless sleeping) have some part of my awareness focused on my physical body. Occasionally, I get completely "out" and no longer have my body as a reference point. Eventually, though, it pulls me back in for something.

Thoughts From The River

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 14:15:19 -0700

I'm sitting on a large flat rock in the middle of St. Vrain creek. Roaring water flows on each side of me as I admire the beautiful Indian Peaks Wilderness. I biked up here today on a little jeep trail, hoping a break from the city would ease my agitated mind. I can already tell a great improvement has occurred! My body feels good, tired from the rough ride but calm. A peace is settling over me that I haven't felt in weeks. Ahhhh... There is nothing around but me and nature. No people, no cars, no pollution, no worries. Here deep in the woods, everything is in order. The water flows over the rocks in small even surges. The tree branches shake gently in the breeze produced by the rushing water. An occasional drop of water escapes the river to land on my skin. I sit in direct sunlight yet the rock beneath me is cool. There is a balance here, one not found in the rush of my everyday life and concerns. All is as it should be.
Perhaps I am wrong, and the rush of my everyday life and concerns exudes this balance as well, only on a level beyond my understanding and perception. I think this is true, and sometime I even sense it, that elusive feeling that my life which seems chaotic and painful is keeping step perfectly with some grand plan, a grand plan which is balanced and loving beyond even what I feel here in this river. When I feel this, I have peace, the peace of God I suppose, that come from the overview. Why can't we see it all the time? I suppose if we could, we would give up our silly suffering and return to our more natural forms, leaving this physical life of lesson behind for the serenity of spirit.
The tree branch next to me has a small green sprig growing from its side, new growth in what would otherwise seem a mature branch. Why did this new growth begin? Why more growth on a seemingly mature tree? And why did it sprout from the side of this branch rather than at the end where other new growth is apparent? In some strange way, I am reminded of myself. I thought I had already matured in areas which are now just starting new growth. Perhaps the very realization that I was not complete opened the door for this growth. Did the tree suddenly consider that it may not be mature on this branch, hence starting the process which formed new growth? I doubt it. I think nature does not suffer form the human fallacy of imagined maturity. Nature knows life is a continuous process of birth and death of growth and decay. This knowledge allows the season to flow without the conflict interjected by humans in their similar seasonal changes.
My life now is changing, despite my resistance. I can only hope that this new period will bring great happiness as well, if I can only accept it as nature accepts the change from spring to summer and summer to fall. Each season has its own beauty and lessons to share. Without them all, there would not be balance. Each could not exist without the previous seasons contribution to the whole. So it is with my life I assume. That this cycle is a necessary phase in my quest to move onward in my growth.